Learning to Trust

"You are still afraid."

One tear comes to the
edge of my right eye.

"You are still afraid to
trust me with your feelings."

"Yes." The tear drops.

"You can tell me what
you are feeling. It will make
things easier if you tell me."


For feeling of love for those in my childhood I won't go into detail of how my trust issues started. For the feeling of embarrasement that I allowed it to happen, I won't go into my adult-born issues around trust. What is clear to me that God gave Nick (through a variety of ways) the ability to completely trust me and that he is teaching me how to completely trust him. The fears of rejection of my feelings or rejection of me should have ended when a ring went on my finger. Old habits fade slowly.

God made us with an unending source of love and trust. As the wounds heal, the scars block a place in us that should never be difficult to open. Life lived in trust of someone, someone who deserves and gives and shares trust too, is a gift. I am not afraid of being hurt. I am not afraid of loving too hard. I am not afraid. My scars will not keep me from jumping, falling, and flying.