Thank you to House.

Thank you House. Yes, thank you to the show House. To the writers, the actors, the producers, the directors, everyone involved from the sound guy to the costumer, I say thank you.

The season opening episode dealt seriously, frankly, and openly about depression and mental illness in general. It was set in the silly, crazy elements of House, the main character of the show, dealing with his drug addiction and depression.

As someone whose dealt with depression (undiagnosed and diagnosed) my whole life, I want to say thank you for more than a brush over mentioning of a side character’s illness. An honest conversation about mental health is necessary for more and more people to get the help they need. Thanks again.

Welcome Morning

I've never been a morning person or a bird person. I like to sleep in late and could do without the "gifts" birds leave behind on our cars, sidewalks, etc. Since moving downtown I have found birds more and more tolerable, even enjoyable! My bird dogs have countlessly brought them to my attention. I've started learning the difference between and finch, dove, and pigeon. Oddly enough, white pigeons are some of the most beautiful birds I've ever seen. Besides the interest in birds, I have started coming out of my morning-hating to find that the calm of a morning can center a day beautifully.

For the past week, I have seen a bird outside my fifth floor window. Her song brought her to my attention. I was in our bedroom and heard what I thought was a pigeon fight. Upon looking at the living room window, I found an unfamiliar (to me) bird who slowed it's song into something beautiful. It's almost like she was calling me to come!

Everyday since then, she's greeted me. She's sung to me. Today, she turned around and looked at me. And I discovered what she is. A Starling. So, here's to the morning and a bird to greet you too.

Learning to Trust

"You are still afraid."

One tear comes to the
edge of my right eye.

"You are still afraid to
trust me with your feelings."

"Yes." The tear drops.

"You can tell me what
you are feeling. It will make
things easier if you tell me."


For feeling of love for those in my childhood I won't go into detail of how my trust issues started. For the feeling of embarrasement that I allowed it to happen, I won't go into my adult-born issues around trust. What is clear to me that God gave Nick (through a variety of ways) the ability to completely trust me and that he is teaching me how to completely trust him. The fears of rejection of my feelings or rejection of me should have ended when a ring went on my finger. Old habits fade slowly.

God made us with an unending source of love and trust. As the wounds heal, the scars block a place in us that should never be difficult to open. Life lived in trust of someone, someone who deserves and gives and shares trust too, is a gift. I am not afraid of being hurt. I am not afraid of loving too hard. I am not afraid. My scars will not keep me from jumping, falling, and flying.