Into the Mystery or Chaos, Schmaos

I've been an avid LOST watcher since it first came on and watched the finale Sunday with joy and sadness. It's ending was beautiful and perfect. I've read lots of comments and blogs that want answers to things like: "were they in purgatory?"; "were they really dead in the first place?"; "would the world end if Jack hadn't put the stone back?" My answers are no, no, and yes. The most important thing about this show for me is that those are my answers. Those are my interpretations of what happened based on my experience of watching the show and reading each week a great blog by a friend of mine. Do my answers matter? NO. No one's answers matter. And, there is part of the truth and mystery I am living into lately. We don't have to have a label and structure for everything. Sometimes there is just chaos, or what we see/label as chaos. Admitting we lack the ability to give label and structure to everything if freeing! If we don't, we drive ourselves crazy trying to do so. It's not the structure that matters. Like on LOST, it is those deep relationships and true purposes that we discover that matter, not our ability to control things. I watched the pre-show Sunday and saw the writers and actors relaying that knowledge in their description of the experience of making LOST.

This week, I step into the mystery of officially searching for my next call. The process in the denomination is beyond broken, but it's what we have. (And, I have ideas for a new one, but that's another post.) I step into the chaos not to find the next place I will label and structure, but the next place where deep relationships with God's people will develop and we will work together to further know our purpose(s) in this world that God has created and asked us to love.

So Bad. So Good.

I am a minister and sometimes I think also the worst at praying and bible study. I started a prayer blog for Hillside and it is genuinely helping me get better at that praying part. Everyday, there is a new post of one of these: scripture, global prayer emphasis, art, music, community prayer emphasis, or a short reflection. In preparing these entries I find myself praying for those who will use the blog, praying for my own stuff, and praying through the suggestions I place on the blog. In creating the blog for others, I have given myself a spiritual discipline. What a gift it is to serve others. It's nice that it usually helps us too.

If you would like to check out the blog, you can view it here.