Snowy Snow

Yesterday, it snowed. From my living room windows (they take up the bulk of the outside wall) I could see a wide span of the River Market and downtown covered in a white blanket. From West of the Broadway Bridge to the Isle of Capri Casino, and all over the KC Metro, there was a fresh layer of snow. When this Louisiana girl first moved to the MidWest, snow was a new concept. Driving in it was unheard of and walking was difficult at first too! I still don't drive in it and now I wear the right shoes. And, I love the snow. It is quite mesmerizing.

Snow manages to make everything look new and ancient. The individual flakes, in their beauty, come together to build beauty in unity. It makes me wonder about our own individual beauty and gifts. I've seen cards and anecdotal stories about how we are each as unique as a snowflake. They make me roll my eyes. Maybe the stories work for some people. It took me a while, though, and some serious counseling to truly know that I am created with beauty and unique gifts. My hope for people (in Advent and beyond) is that we each learn about our unique beauty and then learn how to make beauty together in our blanket of humanity, woven together by God.

Black Friday, Presents, and Advent

It's hard to ignore the ridiculousness that has become the Friday after Thanksgiving. With 5 a.m. store openings, lines that start the night before and news coverage, it is difficult not to feel the advertizing pressure to make your way out there. My husband and I went to Utica Square in Tulsa late on Friday, thinking we should just get out of the house. We quickly realized that it was not our scene. There were people packed in and walking away with armfuls of branded merchandise. 

First off, neither Nick nor myself make too much of brands or shopping. We'd rather be home playing with the dogs or dancing in our kitchen with sock-feet. Second, we both place politeness and niceties at a premium, and it was clear at Utica Square that people were more interested in getting to that sweater (or whatever they were looking for) more than saying excuse me for bumping in to each other. It was sad.

It was more sad, however, when the news broke that an individual opening up a Long Island, NY Wal-Mart store had been trampled to death as the crowd surged to enter. In the aftermath of a death, Wal-Mart claims it did everything it could to prepare. Damour,  the 34 year old man who died, was hired to be extra security. After the doors opened, people streamed in, knocked him down, and proceeded to step over him, and step on him. How in the world could people move past him without any regard to a man laying on the ground? How is a tv, camera, dvd player worth more than leaning over and checking to see if he was ok?

It as my hope that even in this economic downturn and my lack of income, Nick and I would be able to still give Christmas gifts in the way that we have done before. My decision was to make some of the gifts. I have, so far, made gifts for my girlfriends and anticipate making a couple more for some other family members.  The gifts that we give are not over the top, and are meant to connect with those we love. It seems that even we get caught in the efforts of commercialization. I believe we have found a balance of remembering people with gifts; and remembering it's the people, not the gifts, that matter.

Each year, pastors try to remind people what this season is really for. First, we are in the Advent Season. (It's not Christmas, yet.) Second, Advent is about awaiting all that God has in store for us each. The story begins with anticipating the Christ-child, but is complete only when we consider what Jesus was asking of us on God's behalf. This video below is about such promises. Hope you enjoy it.

Why I am

My name is Kelli and I am a 28 year old pastor living in Kansas City, MO. I grew up in a Southern city where people spoke about equality but lived in specific neighborhoods without crossing the racial line. Whether in my hometown or in Kansas City, we still live divided lives whether by race or class or a variety of labels and prejudices that only hold us back. This couldn't be further from what God desires or what the promises of our country hold. In church as well as in our American neighborhoods (and around the world), I believe that true community is built among a variety of people all sharing the best of themselves, working together to make a just world. My husband and I moved into a diverse neighborhood with the hope that with one step we can make a difference in building up community where our faith and values are lived out. As modern people, we speak of justice in punitive ways, but the Biblical sense of justice is centered in the idea that all people will eat well, all people will live well. This is the type of country I desire, the type of justice I desire. I am voting for Barack Obama because he shares that value. He has not asked me to put anything before my faith. He has simply asked that people believe in their ability to make a difference in their country, wherever they may be starting. I start in my faith, and hope that the images of peace that I see in the Bible where people live in harmony may become more real under a Obama presidency. Whether my neighbor shares my faith or not, I know that many share a hope for a better America where the dignity of each individual is lifted up before the "rights" of corporate America. Come January, I look forward to working with Obama and all of the United States to make this hope come true.

Learning to Trust

This past weekend marked the one year mark with Lucy. Lucy is our German Shorthair Pointer. Living with her around has been quite an adventure. Before getting her, Nick spent many hours on the website petfinder.com. He would look at pictures and stories of dogs in need of a home. Many times, I would look too. However, the prospect that many of these dogs will be euthanized before getting a home would always push me away from the computer. My emotions would overwhelm me. Finally, Nick felt moved to call about one dog, a sad-looking GSP whose status had changed to **URGENT**. (That is the petfinder language for imminent death.)  We decided to arrange to get her, admitting that if it didn't work out, we could take her to a no-kill shelter. As we picked her up after her journey from Western Kansas to KC. (Thankfully a shelter worker was coming to visit his family in KC. He was also the one that kept her alive nearly 2 weeks past the normal routine.) I wish we would have do wnloaded the picture that was on the web. She was scared, balled-up in her cage. When we picked her up, we saw something different...

Lucy is a beautiful dog. She is curious, playful, and demanding of attention. She could cuddle for hours and if you move, she moves to get closer.  At first, she ran out the door every chance she got. She really loves to run. In the past year, she had learned to come when we call her. I cannot remember the number of times we ran after her, usually getting a phone call from some kind stranger who grabbed her. She still runs, but she runs knowing that we love her and take care of her. We go to the park each day and she plays off leash and comes when she is called.  A year seems to be the mark of true trust. We worked with her, and worked with her, and worked with her. Lucy has been reminded in all our actions that we are not giving her up and that we are her people.  Even now, I am sitting on the couch with Chaco at one end (the lab/pointer mix I've had for 7 years) and Lucy half-way laying on me with her chin in my elbow. We are a happy little bunch! 

It takes much longer to undo pain that it does to inflict it. In her short life, Lucy was undoubtedly abused, had a litter of pups, and lived her life in a small cage. Thankfully, we got the chance to teach her about being a dog, about having a human family, and being loved! How many dogs, how many people never learn these lessons. We are so quick to dismiss broken humans who make bad decisions as "bad people." I believe that if no one loves us the way we should be loved, that if we are broken and not loved back together, that we cannot be the best person we ought to be. God expects us to be the people who share love and help develop trust in the world. So, whether it's a Lucy or a new friend, I am working for trust and sharing what God's has instilled in me. Love and Trust.

Defiance and Mutuality

 Defiance…oh, defiance. There is a part of my personality that is deeply defiant. If someone goes out of their way to say not to do something,  that is the first things I want to do. And, many times I may even agree with the said person’s reasoning, but when it is presented in an authoritarian “I am in charge” kind of way, I will do the opposite. Why? Because I believe conversation is superior to demands and love is better than manipulation.

 

So, there here it is. I am blogging during the time that I was told only to listen and take notes. I am blogging during the time that I was told to stay off the internet.

 

That gets me to the point. I love living in respectful and loving relationship with people. I love developing friendships where mutuality is the key and reverence for the God within each person, the imago dei (the image of God) in each of us.

What about you?

Summer Days

When I moved to Kansas City, I had no idea that summer's like this existed. When you live in hot climates, summer has a certain feel --  sweltering! Last summer was pretty warm in KC, but this year has been amazing. We rode the bike yesterday, running some errands, and enjoying a Sunday afternoon. Through certain neighborhoods, the ones with lots of trees, I even got a little chilly. It is difficult to ignore the majesty of this world, all it has to offer that is beautiful, when there are days like we are having now. When life is overwhelming, there is still beauty to view. When days are long and hard, a single bloom can lift a heart. 

When a Minister gives Ministers a Bad Name

There is a church dear to my heart that is going through its second power-grubbing, judgment wielding, spirit crushing "minister." I have to put that word in quotes, because to call either one of these people real ministers is to degrade the calling. 

Being a minister, a pastor, a servant is a high calling. People expect a great deal from you, but they also will give you back power, love, care in ways no one can truly anticipate. And, there is nothing wrong with people giving their pastor those things, not even power, but...

When a pastor does things unethically, and is never called into question, when a pastor manipulates people for personal gain, when a pastor fails to love and judges instead... I am ashamed of my profession.

And, what makes me more ashamed is that the lay leadership lacks the confidence to do what they are there to do: hold the pastor accountable. So, yet a second time, this church is allowing a pastor walk all over the gospel, to walk all over them, to walk all over and tear them apart from the inside out.

So, when someone says to me "church is full of hypocrites," and I look at this situation, it becomes harder and harder to counter it. 

So, I hope... I hope and I pray that someone in that church will stand up for what is right and demand accountability. I hope and I pray that God will always remind me of why I am called to ministry: to serve the people and serve my Creator. I hope and pray that this situation will have very few casualties. (I have to say few, because I already know there are some.) I hope that the piece of my heart that is breaking for this congregation comes to the forefront of every decision I make in ministry. For, if ever my ministry kills someone's joy, it's not ministry at all.

This is a sad confession to share with you. But, I believe God is calling out a greater church, a church where people are loved and respected and challenged to be better people, a church where even in disagreement, we act in love. God wants more from church; God just might want us to be Christ-like. (Who would imagine that!?!)